I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY...AGAIN

I know, I know, I could once again waste time doing the big explain but the truth of the matter is, I've been fucken busy. New job, new city, new life, its all fucken new kids. I'm as shiny and fresh as a botoxed butt on some try hard celeb and I'm loving it. At least when I sit down I can feel my arse and even though I haven't checked, I'm sure it is wrinkled in some way shape or form and at the very least it's more expressive and can show bucketloads more emotion than Nicole Kidman can. I so can't be bothered filling you in on all the nitty gritty and of course one must retain ones secret identity, so it is safe to say I've left Melbourne (boo hoo) and taken up residency in Bris-Vegas (friggen hot).

Things are getting better weather wise thank fuck...oh God I am officially a nanna. Into my second paragraph and already I am crapping on about the weather, hang on gotta go get my travel rug. Phew now it's fucken hot again, anyhow I will persist with my temperature ramble as it finally seems like it is getting bearable around here. It has taken me ages to get used to the steamy, crotch rotting stench of top end weather, what is with mother nature anyway? Silly bitch making it too hot even for soft, doughy white ladies like me. Thank God for air conditioning, now I can spend my days going from frigid, arctic like temperatures to tropical heat, then back into the chill, then out into the heat again. It is so good for one's immune system I think.

Finally threw the money down on a dishy new Apple iMac, the big arse 20 inch screen edition, which I am staring into now like some kind of wanton whore, drives me crazy. It is so hot right now and if it wasn't so dangerous I am sure I would give it regular licks. As it is, I just snuggle up to it and throw it loving glances whenever I have to wander away from its never ending glow. Whilst I indulge this weird, slightly sick affair with an inanimate object, I am occasionally reminded of the card I slid it on to purchase it, which always turns up once a month to remind me of my tawdry affair and rub my face in it, she is a hateful ex mistress. Righto, now I feel like I'm some kind of talk to myself tragic. Like that was a revelation.

So I guess what I am trying to say is that with my in house connection I will hopefully be spending more time writing little anecdotes from my life and boring you senseless with my thoughts, stories and ideas. You're excited already aren't you? Thought so, watch this space kids...I promise.