Had a bit of a revelation the other night, you know how it is, your stretched out on your couch, your hubby (wifey, lover, flatmate, blow in, friend, family member, serial stalker, invisible friend, the voices in your head....go with whichever one applies) is stretched out on their couch, your lost in the world of reality television and some out and out cock snap is just giving you the screaming shits and all you feel like doing is picking up a solid object and forcing it through the screen at high velocity.
It was at this point that I decided that I wanted to be bullshit, super rich, Oprah style. My reasoning is that if you had a massive amount of disposable cash you could pick up something heavy, and lets face it, if you are really rich you'd have some sort of solid gold rock that you could throw at the screen whenever someone or something gave you the shits. I'm thinking that perhaps the best option would be to have a constant supply of plasma screens on a conveyor system that responds as soon as the currently viewed TV explodes into a shower of sparks and electrical bits 'n' pieces.
I can see it now, the new plasma screen would slide back into place and some underling who was at the beck and call of hubby and I, would retrieve our solid gold TV rock and place it back on its purpose built, silver platter within easy reach for the next time Daryl Somers decided to pick up a microphone and pretend the awful screeching that dribbled from his mouth was actually singing. So if you are justly inspired, please grab the nearest means of contact and force feed me all the free cash you can accumulate and send it my way so I can make my dreams a reality.
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